Time to get our Mardi Gras party rolling. We're going to have some authentic food, play some authentic jazz, drink authentic cocktails, get authentically banged up, no, no, no... We're going to have a great time, eat some tasty food, drink dangerous cocktails and definitely get banged up. It's Fat Tuesday! They had Fat Tuesday in Germany 500 years before New Orleans ever existed. That's the beauty of the place. It is as American as it gets. French settlers, Spanish settlers, slaves from west africa, Native Americans, Acadians banished from the Maritime provinces , Colonists from the first push west, people following the Mississippi south; all kinds of people from all kinds of places showing up in one spot. Maybe they wanted to, maybe they had to, but there they were blending their music, their culture, their lives with the local flora and fauna. Authentic New Orleans just means you picked a point in history and decided that everything that happened before isn't important. Authentic New Orleans means you picked a point in history and decided that everything that happened after isn't important. Authentic... it's the death of New Orleans, it will be the death of America.
Did that sound preachy? It did didn't it? My bad, we're supposed to be getting ready to party! So forget authentic. What kind of a party do you get from authentic anyway...
"Hey Babe! I'll go try to kill something that tastes good or at least something we can digest. I should be back in 3 days unless it kills me first. You take the kids down by the river and see if those red berries are safe to eat. Give them to little Johnny first, he's looking a little scrawny and we need to figure out if he can survive the winter."
Even the loin cloths put a crimp in things. Trust me, me in a loin cloth, unless the room is very, very, very dark, is going to be a buzz kill. So if we are going to leave the authentic cuisine to run free out in the woods, and we are going to protect the eye sight of all by including a blanket to cover my loin clothed form, how do we get this party started?
There we go. Fat's is a little old school for modern tastes, but that will take care of itself after a few sazeracs. If you don't like Fats play something else. You won't hurt my feelings. I just figured that since this is a web sight about food, politics, our dumb culture, our brilliant culture, history, art, life-style and me bloviating, you might like to try some things that you aren't familiar with. So now that we have the music on track how about some food? We started our roux yesterday so in keeping with the spirit of New Orleans how about some gumbo?
We will need: onion, celery, green pepper, the roux, stock, broth, water, garlic, tomato, a cured meat (andouille, tasso if we are being authentic)( any ham or smoked sausage if we are not), chicken, rabbit, seafood (1? all? hey it's your gumbo. Knock yourself out) okra, file' powder, a spice mix (buy one or make your own, but you probably want salt and cayenne for sure). Everything beyond the roux is optional, swap liquids or use them all. You probably don't want beef or cream in the gumbo. Either one would probably taste funky. It doesn't have to be authentic, but you do want it to taste good.
- Put the roux in a heavy pot or dutch oven over medium heat.
- A good ratio for your aromatics is 2:1:1. Onion, pepper, celery.
- Sweat them in the hot roux (Watch it, remember we cooked the crap out of the roux yesterday burning is bad).
- After ten minutes add the garlic (you can go nuts if you want to, but any given dish will only be so garlicky no matter how much you add. After awhile increasing the amount is only about you trying to impress yourself or your audience. See a shrink, an authentic shrink.)
- If you are using rabbit or chicken or duck dust it in flour and brown it now.
- I like what smoked meat brings to the party so in goes either diced tasso, or sliced andouille.
- Add liquid, stir well. Get the brown bits off the bottom of the pan.
- If you are going creole add tomato and spice, if you are going cajan skip the tomato and add even more spice. It will be thin. Add okra here if you want it thicker from okra.
- Let it all simmer for 2 or 3 hours. Go read a good book or an interesting book or listen to some tunes. We are aiming for a party here so leave the TV alone.
- About 20 minutes before serving add the seafood (seafood tightens up and gets nasty from a lot of heat).
- Put a couple of big scoops in a bowl, add file' powder if you are thickening that way.
- Add a big scoop of cooked rice. Serve with Tabasco.
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