Gimme Shelter.

This winter sucks. Valentine Day sucks. The Republican war on sanity sucks. Working for a living sucks. The economy sucks. Me trying on my summer speedo sucks. The price of gasoline sucks. Working on Fat Tuesday sucks. Getting an extra leap year day in February instead of in July sucks. Saint Patty's Day is coming on a Saturday so I can't blow off work and will have to drink with amateurs, which sucks. I'm still short, which sucks. They only managed to table the Blunt amendment by a 51 to 48 vote after it passed in the house, plus Olympia Snow voted against it which means a bunch of democrats voted for it, which sucks. Lindsey Lohen hosted Saturday Night Live, which sucks. A silent movie seen by 14 people won the Oscar for best picture, which sucks. STOP, STOP, STOP! Am I kidding me? This is the winter of my discontent?

It must be, I have a button.

So I guess I was feeling a little down this winter. I didn't get the girl, I didn't change the world, I didn't get rich, I didn't win an Olympic gold medal in luge, I never danced with the bulls, I never learned how to bowl overhand, this blog is still several million hits behind "Cat falls off a TV". I guess it is pretty safe to say things didn't turn out exactly the way I wanted. That's no excuse to spend the winter moping around feeling sorry for myself. The speedo alone was worth a good laugh.

...and yet I am still a babe magnet.

Then Milly died and all the things that seemed to suck didn't matter anymore ( except the speedo which I had to cut off with scissors because it was chafing). Milly dying was simply profoundly and totally sad. Milly dying was expected. Milly dying was all of us losing a sweet, funny lady. Milly dying was a serious gut punch to a narcissistic blogger that was having trouble blogging because he was feeling sorry for himself. Milly dying was a bit of real intruding on all the imagined hardships I wallow in to justify my surly moods and rude demeanor.

We are a particularly rude people.

The only way to really honor Milly, who had a smile for everyone and knew the value of a budwiser and a laugh, was to snap out of it. It really isn't hard if you just try. For example you could play the new Black Keys album. The first two songs offer up a crunchy bass line so enjoyably dirty even nuns and Imen have to start grinding after a quick listen. You could invite some people over for dinner and impress yourself with the brajole you made until the homemade cannoli R brought put you back in your place. You could go to K's for brunch and wallow in her french toast casserole with blueberries, or you could skip eating it altogether, throw on some Black Keys, and just roll in it, it was that good. You could vote on Super Tuesday not because there is anything on the democratic side of the ballot that needs immediate attention but because it's the least you can do as a citizen of this country. If you are a republican good for you there was all kinds of choices on the ballot so you vote is actually important. You could go to your town party caucus and get elected to be a delegate to the state convention (yea me!). You could go to Archie's on Tuesday night, 24 taps no waiting, or you could wait until Saturday (St Patty's day) and add a fine Irish breakfast at 8AM. Then you could tear up Haverhill for 16 hours of revelry. The key of coarse is to not to bum about the things you are missing, but rather savior the things you have. You could skip the John Carter Hollywood extravaganza and just be glad you read all 12 of the books ( 7 now out of print) when you were a kid. You could with a whiff of kindness feel bad for a new generation that won't ever experience the quit awesomeness of Carter, or Tarzan, or Remo Williams, or Oz, or Conan. Instead of rolling your eyes and saying " kids now-a-days" like they just told you they don't like chocolate and don't understand people that do, you should just saver  all of the cool stuff the future has brought then double saver  all the great things that were around when you where a kid that they will never experience. Just turn off the Black Keys and put on some Funkadelic, then turn that off and put on some Rolling Stones, then turn that off and put on  some John Lee Hooker. And leave that nun alone!

Whoa! Writing, typing? or streaming? I'll slow it down for something tasty. While I would love to give you the recipes for the cannoli or the french toast casserole ( maybe there is room for guest bloggers down the line) I'm going to keep it simple with the pasta coarse I served at the cannoli dinner.

Keeping it simple.

This is incredibly easy, and while not a cannoli, is incredibly good. You will need 1/3 pound of prosciutto cut thick, a cup of cream, not half and half, not milk, cream! a large shalliot, 3 garlic cloves, some sage leaves, a pound of pasta, and butter, Mmmm butter!

1. The prosciutto will have a thick layer of fat in it. This is a good thing. With a sharp knife separate the fat from the lean, 2 strokes should do it. Then dice them up small keeping the fat separate from the meat.
2. Melt the butter Mmm butter! in a skillet over medium heat.
3. Dice the shallot, not an onion a shallot.
4. Chiffonade the sage. (Look it up, duh!)
5. Crush the garlic with the side of your knife blade then mince fine with a sprinkle of salt.
6. Once the butter starts to brown add the prosciutto fat
7. When the fat renders and becomes crisp add the shallot and sage.
8. When the shallot becomes translucent add the prosciutto lean. Keep everything moving for 2 minutes. Use a spatula or a wooden spoon, Duh!
9. Add the garlic.
10. Have the cream ready. Before the garlic begins to brown, 30 seconds maybe, you need to toss it in.
11. While all this was going on I hope you cooked the pasta. When you do leave it underdone so it will finish in the cream sauce.
12. Toss it with the cream sauce. Work it in the pan so it gets coated with the cream and finishes cooking.
13. Pecorino romano would be nice on top, or parmesan, or gorgonzola. Go nuts.
14. Between the salt you added to the garlic, the prosciutto, and the romano you won't need to salt this dish. (if you were wondering).
15. This will taste like sex, it would be my go to Valentines day recipe if I believed in Valentines day, so throw the Black Keys on and see if that nun is still around.

I know it took me a long time to do this post. Sorry, but living is easy, blogging is hard. I really was in a funk. It really was self-indulgent BS. It really did take a real tragedy to shake me out of my whiny baby downer. Milly was the best, and even though I have my doubts about heaven I'll bet a whole paycheck that right now there are a mess of seraphim having a beer and a laugh.