Start Slow

Let's face it, you have until next Monday so you want to start slow and build to a big finish. I'm thinking  appetizer,  salad,  pasta, and  dessert. Mmmm dessert! You need to get a good rhythm going so you will need some music. Finally you need a couple of thoughtful gifts. Remember our goal here is to thwart the status quo, so ladies if you want roses, chocolates,  and restaurant food call FTD, grab a snickers bar, and drag your soul crushed significant other to Denny's. He can give you that blood diamond pendent over your grand-slam breakfast. For the rest of you...

Gifts that are not thoughtful:

1. Gift certificates, extra points off if they are for Home Depot or Market Basket.
2. Appliances, points off for x-boxes
3. Trampy undergarments, points off for pre-existing holes
4. Mix tapes, points off because you picked your songs not her songs you dope.
5. Toys that are self-heating, self-cleaning, or self-lubricating. Points off if they buzz.
6. Roses (everybody gives roses, it's not thoughtful when 60 million other guys are doing the same thing.
7. Box-o-chocolates (see #6)

Now on to the tunes. Start with the classics. No, not Michael Bolton, the real classics, no not Kenny G, just slow down and let me blog. Duh! I'm talking about the real classics, so we start with Tchaikovsky. Music that is lush, warm, soulful. Music that takes its' time. Remember we're starting slow and easy, then aiming for a big finish.


I know, corny. So corny you could steal it and...



That Walt, he was a thieving bastard, but he was also a master manipulator. Bambi's Mom really? Still romance has a wee bit of manipulation to it no? Let's face it you really just want to be playing with that x-box I told you not to buy, so this whole thing is a manipulation anyway. You bought into that whole "You'll get laid thing" Mmmm laid! By the way Walt knew his stuff. Why pay someone to write romantic stuff when someone else, someone brilliant,  already has? Only steal from the best.



Old school romantic. Gotta love the trumpet bridge at about 2 and a half minutes. If she's not dazzled by these tunes we'll be getting more modern as the week goes by, but I have to say, if she wants Celine Dion, just walk away. If you want Celine Dion seek help. There is good corny. That would be sincere corny, honest corny. If Celine Dion mated with Kenny G all sincerity would drain from our world and we could never love again.  Now we need something to put on the table.

Shrimp: Update a classic.