Downhill Part 1

So I started writing this blog when I lost my last job. I felt like the world was closing in and at my age I was all done. Well surprise surprise, unemployment kicked in, I had money for my bills, people sent me job leads, I didn't get sick but even if I did government mandated COBRA insurance was there for me, I was still worried about the future, but hey, doesn't everybody worry about the future, then I got a new job... So where is the downhill part? That wasn't downhill. That was a rough patch. Right? But?... while doing this blog and watching the news and talking to all of you and just getting my citizen on it became pretty clear to me that everyone thought we, and by "we" I mean America, were in trouble.

Oh no! The Taliban army has taken Disneyland

It seems that everyone across the entire political spectrum seems to think so. The current budget head butting just magnified the feeling. It was time for me to spring into action. Shaking the lethargy that had fallen upon me after an over dose of spring I decided to finally root out the destroyers of America. I knew this was going to be a difficult task. I didn't want to be like the pun-dents that cast wildly aggressive and only quasi accurate accusations at each other. No red state/ blue state war for this blogger. I didn't want to be a sissy either though. After all, someone was destroying America and it has to stop. So no Sunday service and breakfast today. Last week was sentimentality, the week before was both religious manipulation and saccharin secular up lift. My new hard investigative self decided to cancel todays original clip "Wing beneath my Wings" by Bette Midler ( sorry Bette Midler fans) followed by a danceable gospel tune from the 50's ( sorry danceable gospel fans) in favor of facing Sunday with...

Until next time.

Sometimes I try too hard.

I was going to write a big post today about Kierkegarrd, the uncertainty principle, ethics, and the soul crushing nature of office work. Lucky for you I struggled with it for about three hours then gave up because I was hungry. So instead you get my dinner. While I was wrestling with the big questions I was also roasting chicken. It may not be my death row meal, but it is easily one of the most soul satisfying meals you can eat. Sorry about the Kierkegarrd. I know you are disappointed, but my brain just isn't up to it today.

The beauty of roasting chickens is amounts are only limited to the size of your oven and the size of your pans. Now I like to get a couple of Belle and Evens organic chickens from the Butcher Boy because while I haven't given up meat those factory farms do push my ethical boundaries... must... not... discuss... Kierkegarrd... and  I think the organic chickens taste better.

You will need a chicken, 3 or 4 good sized potatoes, a bag of those baby carrots (saves knife work, but by all means get regular carrots if you can't afford the extra buck) a lemon, an onion, sprigs of thyme if you have fresh ( a window box will save you enough money to buy the baby carrots) and melted butter. Mmmm butter!

1. Liberally salt and pepper the inside of the bird.
2. Cut the lemon in half, squeeze the juice into the cavity, then stuff the lemons in after.
3. Peel the onion. Cut it into quarters. Stuff it in the bird.
4. Stuff the thyme in there too.
5. Truss the drumsticks together with kitchen twine.
6. Smear the bird with the melted butter. Mmm butter!
7. Liberally salt and pepper the outside of the bird.
8. Grease a roasting pan with melted butter. Mmm butter!
9. Heat the oven to 425 degrees.
10. Cut the potatoes into chunks roughly the same size as the baby carrots.
11. Spread them in the roasting pan. Spread more sprigs of thyme over the vegetables. 
12. Place a cooling rack over the roasting pan.
13. Place the chicken on the rack. Fold the wings under the body so they don't burn.
14. Roast for an hour and a half until the juices run clear.
15. Place the chicken under some foil.
16. Give the vegetables a stir. Cover them with that lemony greasy goodness. Then give them another 20 minutes in the oven.

The amounts can be doubled until the pan or the oven gets too small. Figure 3 people per chicken, or a whole chicken if you are a tubbo like me. If you have a big enough roasting pan you could get 3 going at once. You can also skip the cooling rack, but if you do you will have to move the chickens around of the middle one will stew. Check that, use the cooling rack.

Things aren't that bad.

A lot of the pundit class are always saying "It's not that bad." George Will and David Brooks love to swing that way. It usually means some vareation on "Shut-up and be glad you have a job." Now when I say it it's because while the fight goes on things do get better once and awhile. I just stumbled across this video by accident, but give it a watch. I don't care about Hunter Thompson grizzled hack writer and faux tough guy nor do I care about the hells angel hack humane being and faux tough guy. What facinates me about this is the studio audience. The last 2 minutes are amazing.



If you still don't know what I am talking about you might want to give yourself a gut check. Since when is it hilarious to talk about beating your wife, ecspecially when your buddy actually did the deed. Since when would a television host allow that to go unchallanged? Plus he cuts off the one person, Thompson, who seems to find the "beat women" thing offensive. That tape is only 40 years old. Where's Oprah when you need her?

So we are evolving. We may be trigger happy apes with narsistic personality disorder that write women tweaking blogs, but we are light years ahead of that studio audience. Not being a wife beater is no reason to pat yourself on the back, but it is an improvement over actually doing it then thinking it is perfct audience entertainment. To PC? I don't think so. So here's to us evolving even if we have to keep trying. Makes me want some cold beer and some grown-up food.

Mmmm! processed meat!

Don't you get tired of the usual beer food? I do. So today we are going to make pate. There is an accent mark over the e, but I am keyboard illiterate. There are several kinds but we are going for a classic silky pate which is really a dip that will stop you heart. Then because Erin asked nicely and I am feeling good about everyone being so evolved we'll do a country style tureen.

I need a hug.

So now the liberals have an illegal war they can call their own. I don't remember anyone asking congress to vote on if a military intervention in Libya was a good idea. At least the Bush administration had the good sense to fake some evidence for their war of choice. By the way dropping bombs on people is absolutely an act of war, calling it a no fly zone doesn't change that.

Gaddafi is a bad guy, Saddam was a bad guy, Mugabi is a bad guy; wait, we didn't bomb him, Than Shwe is a bad guy but we didn't bomb him either, al Bashir is a bad guy ( a really bad guy) but we didn't bomb him even though we should have bombed him twice. I'm stopping now because I don't want to do 3 pages of this. The point is who our humanitarian wars (Orwell much?) are as capricious as our other wars.

While we're at it I want to ask why we are not helping the rebels in Bahrain or Yemen. Or for that matter why isn't there a no fly zone over Gaza? Aren't their psycho leaders colorful enough to warrant our attention? Are Israeli drones that blow up civilians justified?

 I don't know what scares me more, Obama the not left winger, the unhinged right-wingers on the radio trying to say intervention in foreign countries is bad (  you owe it to yourself to listen to that twisted dance. Be afraid, be very afraid), or the rest of us that don't get angry about a third war. Of coarse why should we? We didn't get mad when they botched the war in Afghanistan. We certainly had no problem attacking Iraq (cause you know the Iraqi navy was bobbing off the coast of New Jersey just waiting to take out Snookie). Why get in a huff now? It's March Madness.

Well I'm not going to get a hug. Hell I have to pay my Mom $20 for one and she's a three hour drive away. So a little food solace will have to do to ease my weary heart.

Oh yeah. In this sad world you need comfort that you can bath in. Now it's called gravy because you are going to load it up with meat. Meatball, yes! Sausage, yes! Chicken thighs, yes! Pork chops,yes! We'll hold off on the braciola for another meal. Maybe when we start a forth war.

Mmmm braciola!

Let's get southern.

So I started a new job today. Unemployed was harsh so why doesn't working make me feel better? I'll tell you what does make me feel better. A little Fat Tuesday Zydeco music, and some serious southern cooking.



Just go with it kids. I now it's not rock. I know it's not current. Did you ever notice how when you are at a party where people are really enjoying themselves you love whatever music is playing? Think about weddings, Mambo #5, The Electric Slide, The Chicken Dance? To really enjoy music  is just like really enjoying anything; you just have to be open to it. Clifton Chenier is an American icon and Zydeco is great party music. Go with it gall-darn-it!

Smothered pork chops, smothered anything, is about as dixie as you can get. So for Fat Tuesday Smothered pork chops is my first choice. It's a 2 step process, sear and braise, which can be adapted to an infinite number of pork chops. It's all process, amounts are for sissies.

1. Buy Double thick bone in pork chops. There is a lot of flavor in bones.
2. Salt them. Pepper them. Sear them in hot oil in a cast iron skillet.
3. Both sides.
4. Butter, Mmmm butter, a pan that will hold the chops in one layer.
5. Slice an onion into thin rings, slice a pepper into thin rings, julianne some celery. Add more or skip it altogether, what ever amount you like.
6. Put the Vegetables in the pan. Salt and pepper them. 
7. Layer the cops on top.
8. Deglaze the frying pan with some white wine. Get all the brown bits.
9. Pour the pan juice over the chops. 
10. Throw in 3 or 4 sprigs of thyme and some chopped sage. Skip it if you don't have any, or use dry.
11. Seal the pan with foil. 300 degrees for 2.5 hours.
12. Make a roux in a sauce pan. Equal parts flour and butter, Mmmm Butter, stirred on the heat for just a couple of minutes after they combine.
13. Remove everything from the pan to a platter. Cover with the foil
14. Pour the juices on top of the roux, blast the heat, stirring until the gravy comes together.
15. If you need more gravy add some chicken broth, I didn't see you use canned, and stir. 
16. Pour the gravy over the chops. 
17. Sprinkle with chopped parley or sliced green onion.
18. Mashed potatoes would be nice.

What's the Beef?

You'll see me come back to this one over and over. Roast Beef is good.

The regular news, with an extra shout-out to Fox news, is lame.

I mean let's face it. You come home, you've been working all day, you just want a little comfort. After all you work hard you deserve it. So, when you slide that roast out of the oven, and the whole house smells of beef, and you put a few slices on your plate along with a heep of garlic mashed potatoes and green beans , and you pour on the gravy, just at that moment you know that today was a good day. Then you turn on this.



Scary stuff, Oh No!, the whole world is going to hell in a hand basket! Run away! Run away! Now far be it from me to downplay the dangers of the modern world. Justin Bieber alone is a reason to tremble. Your news people shouldn't be just trying to scare and manipulate you though. Democratic uprisings in the middle-east aren't going to have guaranteed outcomes. Still, democracy is a good idea, right?



Listen for just the first few moments(or the whole thing if you want, this is America). Democracy is a noble thing. It was well worth blowing up a country of strangers and killing 10's of thousands of their people if we can bring that off. Then go back to that first clip. Apparently the Egyptians aren't ready to take the training wheels off the bike, and God only knows about all those other countries. (Shhh! don't tell anyone, but muslims live there.). Hogwash! Enjoy your dinner, turn off the news, and talk to your kids about why democracy is good and why people have the right to self determination. You could have the kids send Billo a letter reminding him when he liked democracy too. You know  what you believe. Consequences and Billo be damned.

What is the Beef!

Boy that's kind of a prissy meal. Well let's tackle the beef and then we'll man up the rest of the plate.

The Big Kahuna.

In the end nothing says love like the rendered flesh of a defenseless herbivore. As we have been building toward a real Valentines day climax it only makes sense to go with the best. Then make it better. Meat, like love, and like sex, only improves with excess.

herbivore

                                                (Lobo)


To start if you are in the Boston area go to the Butcher Boy. You can try and tweak nasty stuff to make it taste good if you have no money, but this is Valentines day. Open the dam wallet and go for the gusto. Just because we are thwarting our corporate masters does not mean we have to be cheap. So 2 filets please, 2 strips of the house bacon,Mmmm bacon, 2 portobello caps, and some gorgonzola. Oh yeah, grab a pear, a bunch of asparagus, some shallots, and a quart of cream.

So right now she should be moping up the last of the pasta sauce from yesterdays post.( I hope you bought some wicked good bread because we aren't making any. So shift gears and go for the gold with the tunes. you are going to have to leave her alone for a few moments although ideally the seating and the stove are in view of each other.









There, that should hold her until the steak hits the plate. By the way, we will rock out later in the week people, I promise. You can't tell me though that the Stones or Green Day or anyone in between bring the romance like these guys. I'll say it! go for it! Prove me wrong!

Revolution

Revolutions happen all the time. Real revolutions. Sometimes against brutal oppressors and sometimes at the behest of brutal oppressors. Still, there are a few things that all revolutions have in common. It's about the people being fed up with their government, the people being willing to fight the government, and the people being willing to risk everything to change the government. Oh yeah, one more thing, it's a bad idea to bring a briefcase to a tank fight.

In Nicaragua you had to figure that masked dudes with guns indicate that things are not going well...

In the Czech Republic facing down Soviet Tanks (with out briefcases, unlike those savvy Chinese in the top picture) was probably pretty risky.

 In the Philippines using machine guns to control Nuns seemed reasonable, you wouldn't want to turn your back on that pair in the front.

The Polish had Hitler, Stalin Khruschev, and Brezhnev from the 30's to the 80's before they were finally free.

In Tunisia the police are obviously always willing to help.

Egypt may be our friend, but not a friend if you are a Coptic Christen. Police state much?

So, I tried to show all kinds of revolutions against all kinds of tyranny. There seems to be some common themes when dealing with tyrants. Tanks, machine guns, billie clubs, tear gas, police, and soldiers all being used against everyday people. That's a revolution. Why I'd  have to say that fighting against tyranny seems dangerous, you'd better be ready for the worse...

 ... and you certainly don't want to stand out to the police...

... no good can come of taunting savage dictators...

... run ladies, run! in country ruled by monsters like our own a thuggish crackdown could happen at any moment...

When do the tanks show up? The next thing you know there will be a trail of tears and crushed lawn chairs from Washington to Any town USA. He might take our health care, but he will never take our freedom!

No Politics Today

No politics today. Y'all need to pay better attention, that's why the blog, but seriously look too hard and all you'll see is a barrel full of weasels ripping each other for the chance to be the Weasel King. Life is too enjoyable to spend every day that way so instead I bring you... Bacon! Melted Cheese! Gravy! and of course Butter!

Why? Because eating is one of the great pleasures this life has to offer and the 4 aforementioned basics will make almost anything taste better. Seriously, we will save the last member of the big 5, Whipped Cream, for a dessert post, or a sex post, depending on which I think of first, but my big 4 will make anything you cook taste better, with the added bonus of covering up for things you have wreaked. Actually, mix the 4 of them together, dump onto french fries, and you have Poutine, the main reason Canadians need universal health care.

Go to a book store. What do you see? Thousands of cook books full of recipes. Go on line. Browse food. What do you see? Thousands of web sites each sporting thousands of recipes. Well guess what? Good food is all about cooking knowledge, not recipe knowledge. It's about having a cast iron skillet, a sharp knife, and a good idea of what tastes good. Fat tastes good and it makes other things taste good. Mmmm fat!