“Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"

The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."

"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, 

"It made a difference for that one.” 

― Loren Eiseley

You grow up. You learn things. You learn from your parents. You learn from your school. You learn from your peers. You learn from books. You learn from adventures won. You learn from chances missed. You learn from failing. You learn more in a life-time than the library of congress has words. You become overwhelmed by the shear volume of information there is to learn. Maybe humans are going to lose to the computers, but computers are nothing compared to a human brain. I don't know what the future will bring but there isn't enough memory in all the servers in all the earth to make something dance, or create, or bend the rules, or feel emotion. This post isn't about machines, or computers, or even learning. This post is about the people we learn from. (like Mrs. Waldron who taught me in 8th grade that you don't end a sentence in a preposition).

We lost Burt last week. He was one of my select few. You get facts from a million places but you learn how to  "be"  from only a few people. Coach taught me how to be part of a team but I haven't seen Coach in 30 years. PWT taught me how to work but I haven't seen PWT in 15 years. Dick taught me how to laugh, how to bluff, how to drink like a man instead of a boy, how men act as friends but Dick died 20 years ago. Dad taught me about my word, and honor, and how a man handles responsibility but Dad died 3 years ago. Burt? Burt was Loren Eiseley's star thrower. A practical man that knew with every fiber of his being that you only accomplished things one step at a time. It was the lesson I had the hardest time learning. My way was just seeing the big picture and trying to swallow it whole, or seeing the big picture and being overwhelmed. My way was worthless.

Burt never had to buy more stuff.

Burt's way was the way this country was built. Burt's way was why we won Darwin's race for most of the 20th century. Burt's way is the only way we are going to get things in America back on an even keel. There are things that are bigger than me and you; war, debt, the environment; things that can only be tackled one step at a time. One starfish at a time. It's on me now. Dad and Coach and PWT and Dick and Burt aren't coming through the front door anytime soon. No Fathers, no Dutch Uncles to keep me on track.

I can't even remember my hat! God help us all!

One time I was at a social event. I was young, I had a snoot full, and I had the whole crowd roaring. Every once and awhile I hit a groove and I can be pretty funny. It's a tough thing with funny though, sometimes you can be funny ha ha, then sometimes you can be funny at the edge ha? but with a snoot full the edge can be pretty hard to see and if you jump over it then back quickly enough anyone that notices is laughing too hard to object. So I was on a roll until people where pretty much laughed out and it was time for dinner or presents or whatever and I was feeling pretty good about myself. Sure I danced all over the edge, but it wasn't really an edge anyway but more like a line in the sand that was all smudged before I got there. The 50's were dead long live the 80's. 

What line?

Burt laughed as hard as anyone, but in a quite moment he got me aside. I tried to get in front of whatever he was going to say but I was as shocked as I've ever been when he stopped me with "Don't , I don't want to hit you." Burt was the last man on earth that I ever thought would get riled, and he was so quietly riled it stopped me cold. "There are lines." "They aren't the same for everyone" "You have to see them anyway" Suddenly I was seeing those lines really clearly. Where had they been ten minutes ago? "That was funny, but that doesn't mean you say it around my wife and daughters".

I started playing the whole last hour over in my head and while I could still hear the laughing I could also see the edge and ever time I went over it. Bad taste, bad taste, rude, bad taste, mean, rude, bad taste, really mean, offensive, bad taste, Damn! suddenly I was feeling like an ass. " I don't even think they noticed, but I did." Yeah, I felt sheepish, I didn't want them to notice either. Burt just shook my hand. "Just because it's funny doesn't mean you have to say it".

So I learned two things that day. One was obvious, watch your mouth a skill I still struggle with, but I also learned that there is real power in the quiet guy showing disapproval. There is real menace in those that never play at menace. From battling with brothers to throw downs at work I had been so drenched in male bluster that nothing really got through anymore. But the thoughtful engineer type guy? The TV Cleaver's dad? With the quite level delivery? Bam! Point made.

Burt and Coach and Dick and PWT were the Dutch uncles that kept my young self alive, well and socially acceptable. They're all gone now one way or another. It scares the crap out of me. Even with their help I couldn't remember to measure twice much less keep my foot out of my mouth. They were a whole generation of reasonable men all class and polish marching along to some inner rhythm that made a whole country great. I can't even tie a tie and have the knot look right.

Burt built things. He took care of business. If he had an ego he kept it to himself. He wanted to know how things worked. He protected his family from loud mouth snots. He served his country. He served his community. He served his friends. He served his family. He didn't hit me. And he threw starfish everyday because that's what men do. Because that's all you ever can do.

I never talked about spiritual things with Burt, so I have no idea what he believed about God, heaven or hell. I never saw him get sentimental. He was a scientific man not given to flights of fancy. Still if you look at the world the right way there is fancy enough in the practical to more than go around...

A star thrower made of stars. "Is that an echo of some inner rhythm? Can I follow the cadence? Just shut up and go. The world needs you one star at a time. Thanks Burt".