Summertime.

Finally some summer weather. I don't know about the rest of you all but honestly... aren't you kind of rooting for global warming? I believe it is real, I know the consequences could be dire but after the last 6 months of cool and damp, cold and damp, damp and cold, damp and cool, wasn't last weekend's hot and sunny kind of refreshing? I know, in a month we'll all be crying that it is too hot, but we're human. That's the way we roll. If we get bronze we want silver, if we get silver we want gold, if we get gold we want diamonds, if we get diamonds we cry because we don't have a bronze bowl to put them in. Well I want summer and...

Never trust me. I am easily bought.

So I was up the beach fishing this weekend. Fishing and eating fried dough slathered in butter, Mmmm butter! and cinnamon sugar which might in fact be the most perfect food ever created since it has no know health properties whatsoever. I love the beach. I was even better than that because the water is still too cold to fish from the shore so there was no chance that some crappy marine animal  was going to interrupt my book reading, or my bikini watching, or my dough eating. Now for me that makes for a perfect summer, but since the rest of you are human and given to moments of existential dread, narcissistic personality disorder, and unmitigated consumerism punctuated with lack of imagination I figured I'd map out a summer of possibilities that only tangentially involved stuffing your pie hole with fried wheat products.

Some of this stuff is free, some of it is expensive, but it is all awesome and I can vouch for everything having tried it at least once. Let the summer begin.

1. 6/7-6/9: There is a huge Irish festival in Canton MA. Music, food, Irish football, and beer, it's a win, win, win, win situation. http://bostonirishfestival.info
2. 6/16: Hit the deck at the Surfside 5 at Salisbury beach. Even if the day is hot the  summer mobs won't be there yet but the reggae on the deck will ( worst reggae band ever by the way, doesn't matter) http://www.surfsidesalisbury.com
3. 6/21 or 6/23: Tough call,  you could put on your skinny Mad Men tie and go see Straight No Chaser do an acappella set at the Casino ball room http://www.casinoballroom.com , or you could wait until Sunday and get your freak on with the B-52's at Bank of America Pavilion. http://www.bankofamericapavilion.net, or you could do both if you have the cash, or you could stay home and watch the Bruins and The Penguins both days. Bruins, Bruins, bruins!
4. 6/29 and 6/30: St Peter's Festival in Gloucester. How can you go wrong with an Italian festival? Grilled sausage and peppers, some dude singing Volare, the blessing of the fleet, the greased pole competition over the harbor, and afterward you are in a town that has 1 bar for every 5 citizens. http://www.stpetersfiesta.org
5. 7/4 to 7/7: By the 6th you are probably going to be running out of gas so jump on the T and bop into city hall plaza for the African Festival. Just do it. There will be all kinds of weird ass stuff there that you have probably never seen or heard of before. That's why you go. Get out of your comfort zone. http://www.africanfestivalofboston.org
6. 7/12: So you've been enjoying yourself but you haven't had a chance to dress nice for a month. You can change that by getting buffed up and going to the Bastille day party on Marlbourgh street in Boston. They close the street between Berkeley and Clarendon for some serious dancing with the stars type dancing only for $30 you get to jump in. Who doesn't like giving your best girl a twirl. You know she'll think you're the best if you do. http://www.frenchculturalcenter.org/index.cfm/events/scheduled-events/bastille-day-party-2013/
7. 7/20 and 7/21: Road trip! The Pioneer valley out by UMass is great all summer  but on this weekend the Green River Balloon festival is going on. Pretty sweet when it's dusk, the bands are playing and twenty or thirty balloons go sailing off into the night. http://greenriverfestival.com/2013festival/
8. 7/27 + 7/28: Lowell Folk festival. It's free, it's awesome, just go. http://greenriverfestival.com/2013festival/http://www.lowellfolkfestival.org
9. 8/3+8/4: Newport Jazz Festival. It's the music we invented here in America. It's the music that infected all the other kinds of music affecting everything we listen to from rock to rap. It's quickly going the way of the dinosaurs so just go, spark a fatty, and get your groove on before it's gone. http://www.newportjazzfest.nethttp://www.newportjazzfest.net
10. 8/11+ 8/12: Perseid meteor shower. Best viewed in the predawn hours of the 12th. Find a dark place, set up some beach chairs, and remember that the best things in life are free. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/highlights/185454662.html
11. 8/16+8/17+8/18: Fisherman's feast North End Boston is just as great as the Gloucester feast in June, you have had a month to let the heartburn die down, and they wing a local girl off a 5th floor roof as a representation of an angel. Old timey traditions: What could go wrong? http://www.fishermansfeast.comhttp://www.fishermansfeast.com
12. 8/24 or 8/25: Enough chasing around. Just break out the grill and cook something fine, or go up to Hampton beach for a Blink's Frydoe. Relax, summers already over and it was epic.

This is just a rough outline of coarse. This is America you can add more. There is always the Red Sox, or any of 3 minor league teams with in a 2 hour drive, there are feasts every weekend in the North end, Portsmouth NH kicks ass all summer, there are Blues festivals in Gloucester and Rockland ME, then Rockland doubles down with a lobster fest, there's a huge 3 day rhythm and roots festival in Charleston RI, Waterfire in Providence, Shakespeare on the common... blah blah blah. We are some really lucky folks even if all we do is stay home. Sorry people not from Massachusetts. I can't write about your home, but here is off the hook!

Of coarse that's just the weekends. Summer happens during the week too. So if you are a kid find a sand lot and play some baseball, or build a fort in the woods, or catch frogs, or play hide and seek but put the video games down, ditch the adults, and get outside. If you are a teen find a beach or a swimming hole to call your own, cruise the back roads, blast some music, get your first job, score your first kiss, put the video games down, ditch the adults, and get outside. If you are a young adult get a cabin with 20 of your friends, go camping, learn to kayak, climb all the 4000 foot mountains in the presidential range, put the video games down, ditch the old folks, and get outside. If you're middle-aged  get the kids outside, grill things, play hooky from work to see a summer blockbuster, have neighborhood parties, teach your kid to hit a ball, teach your teen to drive, teach your younger brother or sister that jazz or blues or folk are as much fun as the new stuff, turn off the TV, do family stuff but allow the kids to ditch you once and awhile, and get outside. If you are getting old remember that you can still do all those things that the youngsters are doing, make hot sweaty love to that person you share a bed with, don't ditch anyone that wants to hang with you cause you don't know how long you will have them, turn off the TV, and get outside.

I wanted to thank everyone that bothers to read this. I hit 20,000 page views last week. That's small potatoes in these Internet times but bestseller numbers for a book or article from the 1950's. Since I know you are the people that count I will consider this an important victory.