I Got Skills

Well I've been at my new job for 3 weeks now and all I can say is "Same company different building." I have had 5 jobs in my entire life so I would be wrong to suggest that I have definitive insight into the workplace. Still, with-in the confines of the transportation industry all problems seem to be the same. Everyone complains about communication, but it's always that other guy who messes up. Everyone complains about people being late or banging out, but Hey, my kid missed the bus so I needed to be late.
Everyone hates the politics, but if you don't play the game you'll never get ahead. "There's nothing new under the sun". Darn that bible always proving wise just when you want to finally shed religion completely.

So what does that have to do with me having skills. Well I'm the punching bag guy. That's bragging by the way. In 1976 I was fooling around my dorm room at UMass when through every fault of my own and with the assistance of several controlled substances I managed to break the first 2 vertebra in my neck. I'd say bummer, but I didn't die, and I wasn't paralyzed, so actually I was pretty happy with the outcome despite a few ongoing physical problems.(there's another post in that when I feel like I want to discuss it) It gave me one thing though; I am the luckiest bastard ever! I fell bad about the state of the world sometimes, but it absolutely feels like a sin to complain.

At work I know that whatever the problem is it can be solved. I also know that in the big picture what ever the problem is isn't important. It's cool, I get to spend my day traveling on an even keel which in turn helps everyone else level off if things get screwy. I can't actually make a living being the uncle nobody wanted so I did have to learn computer things and such, but I'm pretty happy that when ever I'm out of work they come calling. Sadly you need a whole lot of passion to become the king so I'm a little behind the eight-ball on that one. Hey no worries, king of the moving industry means you're still in the moving industry. It would be like being the smartest person on "The Jersey Shore"



I guess I'll just have to settle for the rewards life tosses my way. Like this Saturday. I get to go to Karen and Joe's house for fried Turkey. Mmm fried turkey, it's a party in my mouth. That's not why it's great though (even though it is), it's great because I get to hang with everyone. If you offered to fly me to NYC, put me in a limo, and pay for me to eat at Le Bernardin (29 rating on Zagats) I'd still go to K+J's

$385 for the tasting menu.

K won't even let me bring any dessert, which is cool because that means she's making something kick-ass good. I love kick-ass good. Sucks to be you Le Bernardin, I'm having me some fried turkey. I actually was going to New York this weekend but that's another thing my little accident taught me, you'll never be on your death bed bummed out because you spent too much time with your family and friends.

Since I don't get to bring dessert this weekend I guess we can make something to go with our Sunday gravy. How about some Tiramisu?

Everything Old is New Again

Some folks have the impression that I am merely a cranky old timer ( which is true) tilting at windmills, cooking unhealthy food, and playing the occasional ancient music track. Guilty. Well damn-it those windmills have been out there a long time turning the same unrelenting way. If I'm going to be Quixotic I'm going all in. As for the food I promise you it will taste great right up to the moment of your bypass. Music is the one that stings because we've been using it to divide us. Music is one of the 4 great things in life, along with eating, sleeping, and sex. Wait, sex with a partner makes 5. Anyway, who says it has to be new to be good?



Pretty good and brand spanking new. If you haven't already heard it 50 times on the radio your radio is broken. Old timers couldn't possible be that good could they?


Well of coarse the 60's started the modern era. That's the dividing line right. Similarities are purely intentional. What's 40 years?



Or 80? Why we look for reasons to divide ourselves I will never understand. We could be eating good food, debating whether Piaf was better than Adele, and waiting for opening day. (Go Sox, irony alert, Yankees Suck) Instead we go around looking for reasons to get angry with that other guy. You know, the guy we need to blow up.

Today was pop, but you could do the same thing with any kind of music. Good to know cause it will give me another post someday when I run out of ideas. Maybe I'll do rap next.

I need a hug.

So now the liberals have an illegal war they can call their own. I don't remember anyone asking congress to vote on if a military intervention in Libya was a good idea. At least the Bush administration had the good sense to fake some evidence for their war of choice. By the way dropping bombs on people is absolutely an act of war, calling it a no fly zone doesn't change that.

Gaddafi is a bad guy, Saddam was a bad guy, Mugabi is a bad guy; wait, we didn't bomb him, Than Shwe is a bad guy but we didn't bomb him either, al Bashir is a bad guy ( a really bad guy) but we didn't bomb him even though we should have bombed him twice. I'm stopping now because I don't want to do 3 pages of this. The point is who our humanitarian wars (Orwell much?) are as capricious as our other wars.

While we're at it I want to ask why we are not helping the rebels in Bahrain or Yemen. Or for that matter why isn't there a no fly zone over Gaza? Aren't their psycho leaders colorful enough to warrant our attention? Are Israeli drones that blow up civilians justified?

 I don't know what scares me more, Obama the not left winger, the unhinged right-wingers on the radio trying to say intervention in foreign countries is bad (  you owe it to yourself to listen to that twisted dance. Be afraid, be very afraid), or the rest of us that don't get angry about a third war. Of coarse why should we? We didn't get mad when they botched the war in Afghanistan. We certainly had no problem attacking Iraq (cause you know the Iraqi navy was bobbing off the coast of New Jersey just waiting to take out Snookie). Why get in a huff now? It's March Madness.

Well I'm not going to get a hug. Hell I have to pay my Mom $20 for one and she's a three hour drive away. So a little food solace will have to do to ease my weary heart.

Oh yeah. In this sad world you need comfort that you can bath in. Now it's called gravy because you are going to load it up with meat. Meatball, yes! Sausage, yes! Chicken thighs, yes! Pork chops,yes! We'll hold off on the braciola for another meal. Maybe when we start a forth war.

Mmmm braciola!

I Shall Be Released

Sunday morning. Maybe not always a day for worship but certainly a day for reflection. While many of us go to a house of worship  many others go to the networks to hear the nattering heads make sense of the weeks events. They'll be talking Libya and Japan this week. Back and forth they'll go. How do you create democracy? What do you do to prevent or mitigate natural disasters? Is nuclear power safe? They'll babble-on puffed up with the majesty of their own revealed word. They will spin a mighty tale about the horrors, or bet money on, the safety of nuclear power. They'll wonder aloud why it is so hard to get democracy to take root. Some will blame Obama because it's their job to blame Obama. Blame for what I'm not sure. Others will just defend their point of view sans interest in facts or morality.

I'm not interested in blame. Not on Sunday, not during the week. I am interested in numbers though, even numbers that are only accurate estimates. Numbers like 250, 7,500, and 250,000. If you didn't know those are the death tolls for the earthquakes in New Zealand, Japan and Haiti.

Wow I'm old!

...and "Archie's was the quiet bar"

So I get home from work at 5:30. I'm all hopped up because it's Saint Paddy's day and downtown will be jumping. I'm definitely jonesing big time for corned beef and cabbage. (Hey, I just post this stuff, that doesn't mean I have the time to actually cook any of it.) That should have been the tip off. Some young folk might enjoy corned beef and cabbage, most young folk might even eat some politely while making plans to get pizza later, but no one under the age of 40 "Joneses" for boiled dinner. I feel like the Shac O'Neil of partying, I can do it old style for short spurts but I can't keep up the rhythm for an extended period. (Hey that sounds like my sex life too, I really am getting old)

I go to Archie's around 6 to meet friends. Nice night, nice walk from the condo. I haven't seen this many 

drunks in Haverhill since last Friday and the weather was way worse then. I'm behind the curve though. Totally sober, hungry and tired. My friends, subscribing to the American axiom that nothing succeeds like excess, were already obliterated. Now in my youth I might, only "might" mind you, have tried to play catch-up, but even as I hit the door my older more boring brain was reminding my older less elastic body that we both had to get up at 5:30 tomorrow and go to work. Yeah, but I could still enjoy a few drinks and dinner right?

Well there was no place to sit and little kids were trying to step dance where I was standing and the waitresses were cranky cause the crowd was so big and woman that were not longer girls were doing the Unicorn moves while a guitar guy played the unicorn song and I know that men paint themselves for sports event but so do women and then they paint themselves for all other holidays as well and why does anyone want to wear green deely boppers on their head and I wish the tv was off cause the news was showing footage from Japan plus footage from the aftermath of Hiroshima because those two things are exactly the same if you are lazy, and have scary file footage you want to show instead of doing actual reporting and it made me queazy thinking about it cause somehow it was way worse with the Unicorn song playing in the background and people were pushing me did I mention there was no place to sit but that didn't mater because they were already out of boiled dinner so I had a corned beef sandwich and a Guinness but it came out of a can but it still tasted good so now I was feeling a little tipsy which would have been a good thing if I was going to stay but it was a bad thing because I have to work tomorrow so I resisted the 2 women with the big shamrocks painted on their cheeks even though the had an extra seat which my friend who by now had a giant tomato head from all the alcohol he had consumed which the shamrock girls though was hilarious even though he was slurring his attempts at seduction then Two and A Half Men came on the tv and everyone cheered so loud for Charlie Sheen that you couldn't hear the guitar guy playing a mighty rebel song... 

Top of the Morning!

It's said that if you want to eat well in the British Isles you should order breakfast at all 3 meals. I don't know if that is true but it definitely sounds like a plan. For the lucky few who didn't go out and ruin their St Paddy's day by finding employment there's only one way to go...

Heart attack on a plate...Mmmm!

 I love me an Irish breakfast , you will need :

Perspective people; perspective.

Red corned beef, or gray? Mantle, or Mays? Beatles, or Stones? Chili, beans or no beans? Coke, or Pepsi? Weed, or Beer? Creationism, or Evolution? Democrats, or Republicans? Celtics, or Lakers? Red Sox, or Yankees? (Yankees suck) Baked, or mashed? Mozart, or Beethoven? Hockey, or boxing? Beer, or Coors Lite? O'Rielly or intelligence? Kerry, or a personality? Up, or down? Pedophilia, or Catholicism? Banks, or home owners? Sauce, or gravy? Rich, or poor? Bieber, or Cyrus? Men, or women? Obama, or an American? Bush, or a post? Cheney, or Satan? (no fair comparing the same thing). Argue much? It seems as a people we just love ourselves a good argument. We like to throw down over it too. If your team decides to crush working people as a matter of policy you better be on board even if you happen to be a working people. Yeah I'm talking to you Joe the plumber.

Fight, fight, fight, cry, cry, cry, work yourself into a lather, get ready to go to war... Then suddenly the Big Kahuna reminds us just what misery is really like. Japan is destroyed. Boom, gone. I heard a radio commentator say he had never seen such destruction before in his life time. I guess he forgot the earthquake in Haiti. I guess he forgot the tsunami that hit the Indian ocean. Really people? When we're not fighting over whether the banks, or Acorn crashed the economy do we really forget the lessons we should have learned just a year ago? What lesson? Just that getting in a huff over the color of the corned beef or the proper use of condiments is maybe a waste of time when 10s of thousands of people can be obliterated because nature got cranky.

The color of the meat is purely arbitrary.