Winging it!

I took a royal beating at work today. Every plan I made, every thing I tried, went south. Enough people were relentlessly horrible that I had to at least entertain the idea that serial killing might be a valid career choice. Wow, thank the lord that I could come home, pop a can of bud and listen to the sassy voice of America...

"You get a car! You get a car! You get a car! You get a car! You get a car! You get a car! You get a car! You get a car! "

 Douh! How will I know what to think, believe, and consume now. Can I ever learn about serious issues without Dr Phil, angels, and a prius to motivate me? How will I know what to read? How will I know what to feel? How will I absorb inspiring stories of over coming adversity when the mother of all talk shows is gone? I want, no need, no crave someone to follow.

"The Rapture will happen on 5/21/11 at 6 PM" ... eastern standard time.

It's not television, but the guy has a radio station which is cool, and someone offered to sell me a whole bunch of billboards with his words on them for cheap money. A little old time religion is just the ticket... wait a minute. Doesn't Reverend Camping look familiar? Wasn't he...

Gee Andy! There's 4 horseman and a beast outside with Floyd!

I guess maybe I'll just stay the coarse and go with a secular leader. Someone who shoots bad guys in the face, tells Israel exactly what every other President for the last 20 years has been telling them, and uses a moment in an Irish pub to rip off one of the seminal speeches of the 20th century.

Ich bin ein Irishman!

Hey, I hate being manipulated almost as much as I hate ripping off great moments in history. You know something? Maybe this following thing is a bad idea. There seems to be something wrong with the folks arrogant enough to be showing us the way. Maybe it's time to "wing it"

"Mmm winging it!"

Now the problem with Chicken wings is if you fry them you get a mess, if you bake them you get dry gnarly nastiness, and if you stew them you get soggy goo. There's got to be a better way... and there is! Yea!

1. Start with a bag of frozen pre-sectioned chicken wings. Yeah, I said frozen.
2. Make yourself a spice rub. Use your imagination, after all you're winging it.
3. For example: a tablespoon of salt+1 of cumin+ 1 of allspice with a strong pinch of black and cayenne pepper gives you Jerk flavor. A tablespoon of celery salt+ 1 of garlic powder+ 1 of paprika with a strong pinch of black and cayenne pepper gives you cajun flavor.
4. Rub the frozen wings with the spice then place in a single layer in 2 13x9 cake pans. Seal the pans with foil.
5. Put the pans in a 300 degree oven for 1 hour.
6. Take the wings out of the pan and place them in a bowl. Save for when you are hungary.
7. No we're not done yet. Duh!
8. Take the juice from the 2 pans and pour it in a sauce pan.
9. Boil the crap out of it until it thickens. At least half of it will have evaporated by the time it thickens.
10. You now posses an Umi bomb. Flavor times 10.
11. Add what ever you want to the sauce. Mustard?Tomato paste? Honey? The possibilities are endless. It's your mouth and we're winging it. You decide.
12. Keep the sauce going on low.
13. Move the oven rack to the highest spot and turn on the broiler.
14. Put a layer of the wings in a foil lined sheet pan. Paint with the sauce.
15. 3 minutes (give or take), flip, paint again, 3 more minutes.
16. You can make a dipping sauce, serve with blue cheese dressing, or just chow down. Hey, we're winging it right?