Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

You never did get to see my blog. I'm a big success now, sometimes I get 20 or 30  readers. Who knew? It shows that your faith in me was well founded. At work I am proving you can do it honestly and with humor, I'm just not proving you can do it that way profitably.  Two out of three ain't bad right? You were an honorable man that taught me to try to be an honorable man. That was a great gift. In this world we can't know the will of God. In this world we can't know how to change the past. In this world we can't know what the future brings. In this world we can't know if winning is losing, or if love will fade, or if there are things like truth, justice and karma. What we can know is ourselves. We can know if our hearts are in the right place. We can know if we are playing by our internal sense of right and wrong. We can know if the day was better for the world because we chose to get out of bed. We can know that we are honorable men. No matter what the world throws my way I will always have that to hold me up. Thank you.

I doubt you would be surprised that nothing much about the world has changed in the last two years. We are ruled by monkeys throwing shit at each other, yet somehow we stumble forward. Even in the darkest moments you always knew that the world is teeming with other honorable souls. Don't assume humane exceptionalism but know that humans can be exceptional. Weed the truth out of the nonsense, that was always you.

Mom misses you terribly. 50 years, a life time, together doesn't leave anyone ready to be apart. She soldiers on though, is it possible for there to be a wacky stoic? I know, I'll shut-up.  I do envy her her religious heart though. She knows in her bones you two will be together again. It is what makes faith so seductive. Who wouldn't give themselves over to eternal life? Well besides me; sitting around on a cloud playing the harp has to get really old really fast, and becoming one with the universe is probably not even as good as becoming one with the cute waitress at the diner. Heaven can wait.

I'm lucky in a different way, you gave me the tools to concentrate on the next 30 years and no matter what I do, eternity, in one form or another, will still be waiting when I'm done. I love surprises.

That's it. Happy Father's day. If I seem a little maudlin how could I not? My one measure of greatness is if the world is a better place because you got out of bed. Vin isn't coming down to breakfast anymore so I know the world won't be as great as it could be. Thanks for everything.

Make sure you give the old boy a call today, or take a long moment to remember him fondly. Forget about recipes, just grill up a few hamburgers, Dads love hamburgers. Sorry about the Eddie Fisher. He was one of Dad's favorites. Maybe because the song is about the Dad that my father never experienced, or maybe it helped him remember painful things in a better light, or maybe it helped him try and be a different kind of Dad for me and my brothers. What we carry with us isn't always true, but it is what we know as truth.