SnowDay!

Here in New England the 24 hour news cycle always yields to a snowstorm. Brave news corespondents tape at the very edge of snow filled streets braving the cold and spray from the plows. People hunker down in their homes surrounded by there loved ones, or the loaves of bread and gallons of milk they obtained in in a Lord of The Flies pre-storm frenzy. I mock the prepared at my own Karmic risk from the safety of my den. Do not do the same in a crowded Market Basket when a snow emergancy has been declared. It's snowy and cold in February in New England. How would we manage if a highly paid television personality didn't tell us what to do?

Well I didn't watch the news this morning, so I looked out the window. February, check! Snowy, check! Cold check! I'd guess I'd better dress warmly if I have to go out, stay off the roads, and stay in if possible. Oh yeah, and run to the supermarket to get as much bread and milk as I can possibly stuff into a shopping cart. Wait, the folks that do watch the news have already cleaned everything from the shelves. I guess I'll have to hit my own pantry to survive.

Chowder, now that's what I'm talking about! A cold winter's day screams Chowder! Sadly, I do not have any clams about so we have to go with plan B. Yep, there is a one pound block of haddock in the freezer. What else do I have? Hmmm? Got an onion, no salt pork or bacon (Mmmmmm bacon) but I do have a fatty piece of ham, 3 potatoes, salt, pepper, butter (Mmmm butter) a celery stalk, flour and some Half and half. We're good to go. (If I didn't have fish a can or package of corn would do. Remember, we're cooking, not following recipes.)

1. The ham is a poor substitute for bacon (Mmmm bacon) but it will have to do. It's not going to render big fat so go ahead and add 2 tablespoons of butter (Mmmm butter)to a pot set on medium heat. 
2. Let things warm up, while you do mince the ham with your chefs knife. If you don't have a chefs knife use some other knife. ( bacon or salt port are going to render big fat in a hot pan so they only need to be diced, no mincing.)
3. Toss the ham in the pan. Stir it around once and awhile as you attack the vegetation.
4.  Dice the onion, dice the celery stalk. Toss into the pan. Add a little salt, but go easy, the ham is salty already. 
5. Sweat the whole thing until the onion turns translucent (Duh, if you don't know what translucent looks like.)
6. Sprinkle on some flour, about an equal amount to the fat in the pan.
7. Stir some more.
8. Add a cup or 2 of water and the fish. The whole frozen block is ok. Get everything to a simmering.
9. When the fish softens up break it up with a wooden spoon. (Stumped because you don't have a wooden spoon? Use a regular spoon, then when this meal is over give up cooking until you are not a dumb-ass.)
10. Dice the potatoes and add to the pot.
11. When the Potatoes are just soft( reach in and check them) turn the heat down and add the half+half. Let everything heat back up.
12. Serve with oyster crackers and plenty of black pepper.

I regret to say that some of my feed-back has asked me to off-set my occasional left wing bias by showing  a real New Englanders distaste for NYC sports teams. Since there are no sports references in this post to refer back to I will instead crap on their chowder. Manhattan clam chowder. Yuck. It's just coppino with out the seafood. There's no bacon (Mmmm bacon) Seriously, would anyone pick Manhattan clam chowder over the creamy goodness that is New England style chowder? I didn't think so. I'll hate on the Yankees at some later time.